A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
later....
Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of
water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later....
"Da-aaaad..." "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a
drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to
spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink
of water?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into
mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into
Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in
and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St.
Peter says 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off
the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy,
will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't, dear," she said. "I have to
sleep in Daddy's room."
With a little voice, the boy replied, "The big sissy."
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the
first time.
The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down
the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until
the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy
birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the
playground, Miss Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby,
when I was a child I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would
freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Miss Smith, you can't
say you weren't warned."
It was that time during the Sunday morning
service for "the children's sermon," and all the
children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and,
as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her,
"That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to
iron."
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